Some people just don't get it.
I am not someone who is good at 1 to 1 conversations. And that's why I only seem to talk more on msn. To CERTAIN people.
Next, if I ignore you or seem to be cold towards you, that is because I don't feel like talking to you. Please don't come pestering me about why I ignore you, give you sour faces, blablabla or whatever seems to be the case. It will piss me off and make me want to avoid you even more.
And when I say I'm like this to a lot of people, don't come and tell me I'm not. You don't freaking know how many people I've wanted to avoid in the past. You don't even know my past. You don't know my present. And I will not tell you what I plan to do about it in the future. You don't know how small I WANT my social circle to be, because I don't like being close to a lot of people. If YOU are not allowed in TO my inner circle of good friends, then STAY OUT.
That's probably why I don't have many real close friends in secondary school. But I enjoy it.
I can observe, you know. Even though I don't say it I can tell personalities of most people really well so there are people whom I can stand and people whom I simply can't. Most of the time, I can pick out the real motives behind people's actions so don't try and act in front of me just because I keep quiet and seem to "play along" with you. I can probably tell very well if you're lying or not because I'm a pretty good liar myself.
Lastly, I don't like physical contact with people whom I don't want to associate myself with so if you're one of them, don't poke me or hit me or whatever. My mother irritates me by poking me for fun (not being unfilial here) and I don't like it so don't think you can.
I know I sound rather bitchy/whiny/etc but I've had enough that some people don't give respect to my personal breathing space.
To those whom I often hang out with or talk to, you can just ignore this post :)
Drip a drop of your love.
|6:23 PM|
Tuesday, November 17
disgusting.
Labels: araralalararala
Drip a drop of your love.
|12:11 AM|
Saturday, November 14
I'll just post as and when I like.
I am pretty mood-swingy these few days probably because of
1. an idiot
2. hypocrisy
3. watching innocent people being deceived by the idiot
4. i passed DipABRSM (probably the only thing to yayy about)
5. how many times it never came true.
Whatever la. I'm a bit sick and tired of all these facades. I'm sick and tired of seeing other people's faces. I'm sick and tired of CHANGING MY ACTIONS to suit other people. I've played along for FAR TOO LONG. FUCK. In the end all I get is nothing but all that shit I've been receiving. I am so forsaken.
What. I've been smiling smiling to so many people since.. some time ago. Shit man smiling is not what I'm good at.
YOU, I've tolerated for VERY LONG
YOU, I don't know WHAT THE HELL you're thinking
YOU, I think you should look at MY situation
YOU, crude bastards don't deserve to exist in my eye.
SO WHAT if you're ______ . Get the hell lost man. You're so desperate for ______ you even betrayed your morals, your words, and whatever you've sworn to hate.
ALL your ugly faces may not appear to others, but it seems all so clear to me.
I see right through all your motives, all your thoughts, all your courses of actions, what you desire, what you put up. ALL THAT CRAP. ALL THAT SHIET. ALL THAT ROTTEN RUBBISH THROWN ALL OVER MY WORLD.
My world is a place where time has stopped. Because nothing has changed for the better.
But its time doesn't affect decay.
So everything just keeps falling apart.
Drip a drop of your love.
|12:00 AM|
Thursday, November 5
SHIT
yourself.
And that's why we shouldn't have income gaps.
Drip a drop of your love.
|8:30 PM|
Friday, October 30
JL and I accompanied Emo lion to watch movie yesterday cos he didn't wanna go home
went to causeway point den to amk hub haha
and we watched..
"My Sister's Keeper"
Quite nice la. Better than I expected cos lots of critics and media gave it Cs and Bs rating. i will rate it...ya maybe a solid A bah.
:) Today was a long day. All thursdays are and will be. I love KEYS lesson now because of Michael Tan. HAHA. I love Theory lessons as always because of James Ang. I love MIDI because we get to ahem*fb*ahem, I like ET cos. dunno leh.
After lessons ended at 5 JL n I waited for Leo to end class by playing ICY TOWER LOL. wth la. Chris helped me get a 100+floor combo yay. den trained home
we got off at CCK station just to eat yoghurt HAHA.
quite nice la the yoghurt. felt a bit refreshed and relaxed chatting with frenz in the train on the way back.
SHIT LA I LEFT MY EARPIECES IN SCHOOL SHIT. YOU OTHER PEOPLE WHO SEE IT, ESP COMTECH LOL, IF YOU SEE IT LEAVE IT THERE. I WILL GO CLAIM IT. LEAVE. IT. THERE.
shit cannot let my mother know yet. she will like, slaughter me.
Drip a drop of your love.
|12:07 AM|
Tuesday, October 27
in freaking Croatian
Hello ja završio dugo dan. otišao za REMT lekcije u rano jutro kao što su, osam do trideset i LOL to je bio mušičav zabava hahaha. Glenn je EPIC-ly smiješno. HAHHAHAHAHA kao što je bio rekord u studiju gonna i on ode, "SIMI LANJIAO" GLOW den je u kontrolnoj sobi HAHAHAHAHHA. WALAO EPIC. Den Jialing otišao poput "Die motherf * cker umrijeti", a Samuel ode u smola smola gore dolje Gabang i ja bili smo doslovno ROFL-ing.LOLLLL Sranje čovjek previše smiješno.
Vjerojatno većina zabava REMT praktičan ikad.
Bilo kako je otišao za brifing STAR Fiesta i pridružio se ovaj Scavenger Hunt podupirućih grupi. = / Den ... Večera s DMAT ljudima na Foodcourt 5 i ode kući ~
Lalalala. YO HRVATSKI Translate This.
SIMI LANJIAO.
HAHAHHAA
SO RANDOM. = D
Kako o ovaj ...
CHOWCHEEBAI.
LOL
NE MOŽE PRIJEVOD PRAVO
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. NEHNEHNIPOOPOO.
Vjerojatno većina zabava REMT praktičan ikad.
Bilo kako je otišao za brifing STAR Fiesta i pridružio se ovaj Scavenger Hunt podupirućih grupi. = / Den ... Večera s DMAT ljudima na Foodcourt 5 i ode kući ~
Lalalala. YO HRVATSKI Translate This.
SIMI LANJIAO.
HAHAHHAA
SO RANDOM. = D
Kako o ovaj ...
CHOWCHEEBAI.
LOL
NE MOŽE PRIJEVOD PRAVO
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. NEHNEHNIPOOPOO.
english translation:
Hello i finished a long long day. went for REMT lessons early in the morning like, eight-thirty and LOL it was freaking fun hahaha. Glenn was EPIC-ly funny. HAHHAHAHAHA like, he was in the studio gonna record and he went, " SIMI LANJIAO" den GLOW was in the control room HAHAHAHAHHA. WALAO EPIC. Den Jialing went like " Die motherf*cker die" and Samuel went to pitch up pitch down Gabang and I were literally ROFL-ing.LOLLLL Shit man too funny.
Probably the most fun REMT practical ever.
Anyway went for the STAR Fiesta briefing and joined this Scavenger Hunt facilitators group. =/ Den... Dinner with DMAT people at Foodcourt 5 and went home~
Lalalala. YO CROATIAN TRANSLATE THIS.
SIMI LANJIAO.
HAHAHHAA
SO RANDOM. =D
HOW ABOUT THIS...
CHOWCHEEBAI.
LOL
CANNOT TRANSLATE RIGHT
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. NEHNEHNIPOOPOO.
Drip a drop of your love.
|12:09 AM|
Monday, October 26
be abandoned.
and forgotten
locked away
in ugliness
forever
as a memory.
i see the coming
of the end.
Drip a drop of your love.
|11:14 PM|
Saturday, October 24
I hate this windows partition omg and why am i still using it. shiet. it doesnt let me twitter, it lags my facebook like wth bloody slow, it occasionally errors when im watching youtube, causing the whole internet explorer to shut down blablabl#O$*@(*(!@#!!!
foxx.
Anywayyys, YAY im now wireless WAHAHAHHAHAHA. YAY My home can become LAN shop liao WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
just kidding.
HEY I'M BORED.
like forever. =(
Drip a drop of your love.
|7:48 PM|
Friday, October 23
Haha. Yessaaarrr me can has As for ET, KEYS, MIDI written test, and musiktheory, and Bs for midi and REMT assignments. ok the bananas are nothing to yessaar about. but still.
I don't want to look insensitive to those who didn't get their desired results, but being someone who got L1R5 of scary 30+s for sec school exams and eventually dropping A maths and to combscience just to make O lvls much easier, this is very very very...
Comforting?
At least I found something in life I can be good at.
:)
Gambatte~ to those who have not achieved their target results.
Anyways. YAY I AM GETTING WIRELESS TOMORROW. No more shietty problems with this trashy modem which always fail to connect for some reason at times when i REALLY NEED IT TO CONNECT.
I found this Teru blogskin on a web which i wanna use but I dun really like the color scheme. D:
Drip a drop of your love.
|6:56 PM|
Thursday, October 22
Today keys was DAMN FUN HAHAHAHA. actually much more lighthearted.
SUPER MARIO AND FINAL FANTASY LOL.
as isabel said, yes he told THREE stories which eventually was just meant to tell us not to be Late blablabla. And he went on youtube show us super mario and to zanarkand. in the end we didnt get to play at all LOL.
i did bah.
Hahahahaha. He asked, " Who knows how to play the piano solo introduction for To Zanarkand "
den i put up my hand, and then quickly drew it back cos i remember Leo say his class saboh glenn to play, too late anyway. I was like, playing from what i remember TWO YEARS ago wth and he was like, " go on~ go on~ go on~". then i ransacked my memory for the song. good thing he stopped me at the part when it went to a minor. heehee.
his copy of to zanarkand a bit wrong i think. its not 6/4 time bah... is it? cos the japanese ff collections version i played was in 4/4.
anyways, damn cute lecturer HAHA.
sometimes I wished we lived in olden times. the reason humans aren't happy with olden times is because it isn't convenient, this and that, but being someone who values culture a lot, i think the reason it isn't convenient is because humans have too much conflicts in the past. the reason why human society has remained stagnant for so long throughout middle ages and so, think of it, it is because we fight amongst one another.
And if everything was back original as it was, cut out the unrest we have, how lovely and carefree it would be, how soothing.
Being someone who appreciates music, shouldn't you appreciate it like the masters of the past do?
That you did, dear, is a direct challenge to me.
Drip a drop of your love.
|8:44 PM|
Wednesday, October 21
Hello people. Hi hi i shall post again since i'm bored.
I am suffering from muscle ache in my thighs cos yesterday i tried doing 50 zach fair squats and i tell you it isn't easy. LOL. for me. haha.
now who says i don't work out huh. -__-
blaah. today went with wonderful dmat peeps to watch movie! HAHAHA. thank you claire for lending me some moolah to pay for moovie ticket sorry ar cos my pocket money is very limited. poor mah T___T. Who else do i owe money ar.... I think Leo also oh my god. BAD KARMA. MUST CLEAN UP ASAP.
LEE MEANJIA WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR A BIRTHDAY PRESSIE?
HAHA.
random.
Anyway the movie we watched was "Imagine That", starring Eddie Murphy. HAHA it's damn funny and worth watching all of you who haven't watched go watch, if you don't wanna watch, go bang your head and tell yourself you need to watch, THEN go watch. HAHAHA it's incredibly JOKE like Glenn. Wth the ending with Eddie Murphy in king costume entering the hall is epic. ok no more spoilers for those who havent watched it.
And walao i lost to leo terribly in this wadever arcade game which you slide the round disc thing cos i keep on own goal. what the fish man HAHAHA.
And i left a basketball on the top of a neighbouring arcade machine LOL.
Can't wait to meet our new Keys lecturer, according to some 02s he's damn fun hahahaha. Play super mario and final fantasy pieces for KEYS totally interesting please. I think he's a gaming addict himself haha.
I am suffering from muscle ache in my thighs cos yesterday i tried doing 50 zach fair squats and i tell you it isn't easy. LOL. for me. haha.
now who says i don't work out huh. -__-
blaah. today went with wonderful dmat peeps to watch movie! HAHAHA. thank you claire for lending me some moolah to pay for moovie ticket sorry ar cos my pocket money is very limited. poor mah T___T. Who else do i owe money ar.... I think Leo also oh my god. BAD KARMA. MUST CLEAN UP ASAP.
LEE MEANJIA WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR A BIRTHDAY PRESSIE?
HAHA.
random.
Anyway the movie we watched was "Imagine That", starring Eddie Murphy. HAHA it's damn funny and worth watching all of you who haven't watched go watch, if you don't wanna watch, go bang your head and tell yourself you need to watch, THEN go watch. HAHAHA it's incredibly JOKE like Glenn. Wth the ending with Eddie Murphy in king costume entering the hall is epic. ok no more spoilers for those who havent watched it.
And walao i lost to leo terribly in this wadever arcade game which you slide the round disc thing cos i keep on own goal. what the fish man HAHAHA.
And i left a basketball on the top of a neighbouring arcade machine LOL.
Can't wait to meet our new Keys lecturer, according to some 02s he's damn fun hahahaha. Play super mario and final fantasy pieces for KEYS totally interesting please. I think he's a gaming addict himself haha.
Drip a drop of your love.
|8:18 PM|
Tuesday, October 20
new modules, new stuff, 2 new lecturers, i hope the kEYS lecturer is nicer this time round.
and CRS lecturer sounds like some
angmoh.
then we'll have two angmoh lecturers
I GOT A FOR MIDI WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ok lar a lot of ppl got A so nothing to be happy about. but i got banana for REMT ringtone T_______T
WL HOW CAN IT BE A Banana. I not happy lor. =(
anyway no Cherries so far, so keep my record clean :) Get Durian i go jump liao
Just now i felt like vomitting for one whole hour. lousy body.
And then i think again, are you really the one?
Drip a drop of your love.
|11:23 PM|
Monday, October 19
I'm still here. I will still be myself.
Regardless of what it is.
I will be what I am.
Whether or not I will fade away
that's up to me to decide,
but also an inescapable fate.
Because every talent, every skill, every quality you possess
Adds up to your streak of loneliness.
Drip a drop of your love.
|9:29 PM|
Saturday, October 17
I think i wanna switch to livejournal, cos i can lock my posts and type private stuff no one else can see.
But never mind, i'll just type one last personal issue here before i do.
you know, everytime i think about this broken family im born in, the financial state of my family, everything that restricts me, and all the million times i failed at something, lost to people in certain aspects of life, my heart has this very very sour sensation.
Heartache.
my father is a _____ person who doesnt care, divorced my mom for another woman, and i dunt wanna go on about it
my mom is someone who controls me a lot since young. as a result i don't enjoy luxuries as much as my friends do. I remember in primary school, when my friends talk about tv shows or games, i'd just be there wondering what the hell they're talking about because i never got to enjoy those.
Even now, when I wanna go out with frenz, e.g., just to see a piano with someone, i have to get through 100 "black and whites", super intense arguments just to do so. And i just happen to have had one with her moments ago.
conclusion: For no goddamn reason, even though from young I have not committed anything damn wrong or whatever, my mother does not freaking trust me.
I feel damn pathetic now, even though i shouldn't. Because i know there are a million kids out there with fates probably worse than mine. Sorry.
It's still very very very painful.
To pray a hundred times wishing for the same thing but getting worse back.
Drip a drop of your love.
|8:41 PM|
Friday, October 16
From solitude, it will melt. It will degrade into a sense of emptiness, slowly spoiling your mentality inside out, slowly destroying your sanity, bit by bit.
Whenever I exhale, my breath will reek of a heart wrecked by loneliness.
Must be the black I see everyday. Must be him, who seeks for a heart to call his own. Must be the feeling of being neglected. Must be the curiosity. Must be the lack of someone to hear, to understand, and to share joy and sadness with.
He doesn't have a heart. That's why he looks for someone who can give him a place to rest, someone who's willing to share one with him.
Otherwise, he'll be crying in pain all day long.
And wrecking my sanity.
Drip a drop of your love.
|8:01 PM|